Tag Archives: Victoria Beckham

Top stories to hit the News Stands in July 2014

yoko onos imagine peace towerLooking back over some of the more serious stories that caught our eye these past few weeks, suffice to say, they’re pretty much summed up in one of life’s shortest  and deadliest of words, ‘war’. Indeed as the 100th Anniversary of WW1 came and went, we continue to learn an even more poignant lesson; the sad fact that we have learned absolutely nothing. And as the atrocities continue to rage across Gaza we decided to dig a little deeper. In one fashion or another, there are currently some 18 wars raging across the world as we speak, hundreds and thousands of civilian lives are being destroyed, displaced and lost. Here’s a peek at today’s current war list – it’s not very pretty and even after 100 years since World War 1, it still begs the question WHY?

Syria – The world’s bloodiest war by far; also has generated millions of refugees. Atrocities on all sides but primarily the government. Spread to Iraq in 2014. Still no solution in sight. Afghanistan – Fate of government uncertain as international community draws down forces and Taliban persists. Iraq – Radical Islamists from the U.S. war in Iraq fought in Syria and in 2014 seized much land and resources with support of Sunni tribes who oppose Shi’ite government. Pakistan – After collapse of peace talks, government battling Taliban elements in autonomous tribal areas adjacent to Afghanistan. Nigeria – In the north, a violent Islamist group has instigated repeated violence such as bombings, and government attacks in response. Sad day when the Islamist terrorists blew up the UN building in 2011. Now they are killing women polio vaccine workers. The fighting occasionally spills over into neighboring Cameroon. D.R. Congo – Beefed-up peacekeepers suppressed one armed group in the violent east of the country, and in 2104 were trying to coax another to disarm. Sporadic but really nasty fighting continues to erupt in certain eastern locations. South Sudan – After a long north-south war, the south voted for independence, achieved in 2011. But South Sudan itself slipped into a bloody civil war (along ethnic lines) that reportedly has killed tens of thousands. A shaky cease-fire has been in effect since May 2014. Israel/Gaza – Current fighting with Hamas in the Gaza Strip has exceeded two thousand killed and continues to rage. Ukraine – Low-level fighting, ongoing in the east near Russia, has killed more than a thousand in 2014, in addition to the hundreds killed by the shoot-down of a civilian jet. Government is trying to dislodge pro-Russian armed separatists from territory they control. Libya – New fighting in 2014 between armed militias that overthrew Gaddafi in 2011. Central African Republic – Alarming levels of sectarian fighting (Muslim-Christian) with the potential for a genocide. Low-level with outbreaks of horrible violence. Cease-fire agreed July 30, 2014. India – Little Maoist insurgencies of long standing; now in a cease-fire with one main group, may be winding down. Mali – Islamists were routed from north by French, but ethnic insurgency threatens to erupt again; cease-fire agreed in May 2014. The Philippines – Sporadic residual fighting with Islamist militants on southern islands. Russia – Low-level Islamist militants from the south, including Chechnya, stage incidents and bombings sporadically. Somalia – African Union troops (mostly from nearby countries such as Uganda) restored government control of all major cities, leaving al Shabab militants in the countryside to carry out occasional bombings in the cities they no longer control (and in neighboring Kenya, which has troops in Somalia). Sudan – The genocide in Darfur was mainly in 2004, but brutal incidents continue there; rebels remain active. Yemen – The post-Saleh government with many competing factions has had some success against Islamic militants who had seized some towns in the south, but ethnic-based fighting has flared up in the north.

That’s quite a list eh? The other question that begs a direct answer is this, just how many women were behind starting these wars? What seems to be the key ignition? land?  oil? gas? religion?  minerals? greed? capitalism? differences of cultures? Pick  any one, they’re all correct and before this blogger moves on to the rest of today’s business, I’ll leave you with this last thought on world wars. What with all these wars raging across the world, right now in Ireland, we are choosing to ignore the Great War raging here on our own doorsteps; poverty and homelessness. The Tsunami of homelessness raging outside our own front door is wholly incredulous. The fact that our poverty war in Ireland is driven by pure greed and capitalism makes it no less scandalous than all other atrocities raging across the world.  The picture above was posted on twitter by Yoko Ono last Friday to send a message of peace. Imagine a world entirely at peace, there’s only one problem with ‘peace’ there’s no money in it.

Which leads us nicely into our good news story of the month; 

Margaret lottery winnerMargaret Loughrey hit the jackpot on her way home from the Job Centre.  Big-hearted Lottery winner Margaret Loughrey plans to give away £26million. And the Northern Ireland woman, who hit the EuroMillions jackpot last December , has revealed she’s already handed out half of her fortune. Margaret won the lottery after buying a ticket on her way home from the Job Centre. She was living on benefits of £58 a week at the time of her mammoth win. Since the windfall she’s been handing out money to help people in need. And she said: “I know what it’s like to have nothing. That’s why I’m giving it away – I can’t miss what I never had. “I spent half of my adult life unemployed and the other half on the minimum wage so I know only too well how hard things can be.” Her benevolent outlook has been to the benefit of her hometown of Strabane. She’s the director of nine companies set up since May, including six new firms registered just last week. Margaret has also paid £1million for the iconic Herdman’s Hill in Sion Mills and plans to transform it into a major leisure and tourism site, creating scores of job opportunities. She told the Sunday Life: “As soon as I won the money I said it would go for the good of the town. “I’ve already given half of it away. “I always said I’d keep £1million for myself and give the rest to the town. “There is so much talent here in the Strabane area, people just need to be given a chance. “Everyone has the right to work for a living, to support their families, to buy their own home, to run their own business. “People just need to be given opportunities.”   Story courtesy of The Mirror

July’s Orchid Jewel is Oscar winning diamond Brenda Fricker.

brenda fricker kissing her oscarThe Galway Film Fleadh took place between the 8th to 13th of July.  One of Ireland’s best-loved actors, Brenda Fricker, star of such films as My Left FootThe FieldVeronica Guerin and Albert Nobbs, discussed her remarkable journey from soap-operas Tolka Row and Casualty to becoming Ireland’s only Oscar-winning actress for her extraordinary performance as Mrs Brown in My Left Foot, and shared her experiences with the audience.

brenda fricker as megan roachBrenda Fricker (born 17 February, 1945) is an Irish actress of theatre, film and television. She has appeared in more than 30 films and television roles. In 1989, she became the first Irish actress to win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for My Left Foot. Fricker was born in Dublin.[1] Her mother, “Bina” (née Murphy), was a teacher at Stratford College, and her father, Desmond Frederick Fricker, was an officer in the Department of Agriculture and a journalist for The Irish Times.[2]

brenda fricker oscar quoteIn her teens, she aspired to follow her parent’s footsteps into journalism.[3] Fricker has an older sister, Nora Ann Grania Fricker.Before becoming an actress, Fricker was assistant to the art editor of the Irish Times, with hopes to become a reporter. At age 19, she became an actress “by chance”,[3] her feature film career began with a small uncredited part in the 1964 film Of Human Bondage, based on the 1915 novel by W. Somerset Maugham. She also appeared in Tolka Row, Ireland’s first ever soap opera. Her brother, Daniel Fricker, lives and works in Baltimore Maryland…… continue reading here

 

Another anniversary to hit the headlines in July was that of the political grenade known as Watergate, 40 years ago  former US President Nixon was forced to resign as a result of corruption and a mammoth cover-up. It’s a long and complicated story, one worth googling –  here’s a rough synopsis; Several of his ‘tribe’ broke into his ‘opponents’ offices, there was bugging, tapes and a lot of illegal payoffs.  Apart from his titanic fall from grace, ‘Watergate’ was where the suffix ‘gate’ stems from…. here’s a few Irish examples;

Croker Gate, Brooks Gate, Keegan Gate. Indeed The Concert Gate maybe firmly shut for now, but this story is far from closed!

garthGardai suspect up to 40pc of objections to Brooks concerts are forgeries. OBJECTIONS lodged against the Garth Brooks’ concerts are believed to have included signatures from people living abroad, children, and a prison inmate.  Gardai investigating claims of bogus complaints about the five shows have established a series of irregularities. It comes as yet another round of intensive talks were under way last night aimed at salvaging the gigs. Ticketmaster have delayed the refund process until Thursday, two days after they were originally due to begin giving disappointed fans their money back. They said that the decision to delay the commencement of refunds is due to ongoing negotiations “to try and find a resolution to the concerts situation”. The Irish Independent understands that Dublin City Council officials and gardai have been alarmed over some of the identities which are alleged to have submitted applications. “It’s believed that the signatures belong to children, people with intellectual disabilities, people living abroad and a person in the custody of the State – it’s suspected that illegal activity has gone on here,” a well-placed source told the Irish Independent. – See more at The Independent.ie

Then there’s Banker Gate – one of many peu detre? 

Ah here. On July 30th the Bank of Ireland faced a storm after payments were delayed, affecting the wages of many employers who use the bank. Today, they tweeted that all payments had been processed overnight. Even when The Kenmeister tweeted them about a missing transfer from Nigeria, they were surprisingly sure it would go ahead.

“Still no sign of my $1m from the prince of Nigeria … must be the bank holiday weekend” he tweeted at them, referencing the oldest spam email on earth. SD replied, of course, expressing their sincere apologies and guaranteeing that payments made yesterday would arrive – and he should keep checking his account….  story courtesy of Breakingnews.ie

Moving swiftly on….  let’s take a look  at the argument for avoiding cosmetic surgery, one of these women is in her early 30’s and in a desperate attempt to hold on to her youth, she crossed a line the other three women have avoided. Question; Tulisa what were you thinking?

Exhibit A – Before

tulisa in pink beofre surgery

Exhibit B – Speaks Volumes

tulisa botoxed and filler surgery

 

Now let’s just take a look at three Hollywood stars who prove our point, here they are on dress down days – no make-up, no surgery and practically twice Tulisa’s age?

sarah jessica parker - in trackiesJessica

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

jen anniston makeup free heads to spaJen

 

 

 

 

 

 

courtney cox - no makeup

 

Courtney

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe it was the pressure of that dreadful  false ‘drugs’ court case, of which Tulisa was completely cleared. Remember we  said we thought that she had been set up when we reported on the story last year? Well we were right, however this past year certainly  and cruelly took it’s toll on the poor girl. Nevertheless, one thing’s for sure, no matter how bad it all gets, cosmetic surgery, botox and fillers is absolutely not the answer.

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend eh Posh?  Our last but not least Anniversary story  – Victoria Beckham 15 years married…. 13 engagement rings…. you what there now?

David-and-Victoria-Beckham-e1392390707774-600x554Most girls are pretty happy with one beautiful engagement ring, unless your Victoria Beckham that is. The fashion designer has owned a whopping 13 (yes you did read that right!) engagement rings so far over her 15 year marriage. According to the Daily Mail experts yesterday valued her 15 year collection at nearly £4million. When David proposed in 1998, her first ring was a diamond cut into an elongated ‘marquise’ shape, set on a yellow gold band, worth around £65,000. However as the couple’s star has rose so has the value of her rings! At Wimbledon this year she showed off her £100,000 engagement ring with a yellow diamond set in yellow gold. And one of her favourites is a square cut emerald with surrounding diamonds, valued at £500,000. The most expensive of her thirteen engagement rings is said to be a huge heart-shaped diamond thought to be worth in excess of £1million. The expert who valued her collection said: I’ve never known a woman to chop and change her engagement ring as she does. She clearly sees no reason not to treat it like any other fashion accessory. Victoria is not afraid to wear quite adventurous styles. She opts for rare cuts or less common stones such as emeralds or sapphires….. story courtesy of RSVPmagazine.ie

Speaking of weddings, big congrats to this lovely couple who actually met 11 years before they were introduced to each other and last week were married….. check this out

couple met 11 years now marriedA couple had no clue they once met as children — that is, until they found an old photo of themselves playing on the beach together. Nick Wheeler and Aimee Maiden were looking at old family photos at Wheeler’s grandparents’ house when they found one from 1994, 11 years before they first met.

couple met 11 years before marriedIn the photo, a 5-year-old Wheeler is building a boat in the sand with his cousin and sister, and Maiden was shocked when she recognized her 6-year-old self in the background.  They didn’t live in the same area, though. Wheeler lived in Kent while Maiden grew up in Cornwall, in the beach village of Mousehole. In 1994, Wheeler was on vacation in Cornwall when he unknowingly met his future wife.

couple met 11 years wedding dayWhile the two future lovebirds were just yards apart from each other on the beach, their families were strangers. A year later, Wheeler moved to Mousehole, but still didn’t meet Maiden until college. Soon, they began dating, and they moved in together three years ago. This past Saturday, they got married — in Mousehole, of course, right near their original meeting spot. All together now….mazel tov.    Story courtesy of The Daily Mail

And just before we go, let us pause for one final thought.

CATS CLAWS AND PAUSE

 

Competition Time

orchid giveaway snake necklace promoIt could not be easier… celebrating our brand new  eStore on the Orchid Jewels website, all you have to do is to go to our business Facebook page .. click like… share it and be in with a chance to win this stunning piece from our latest collection. Don’t forget to follow us on twitter too… retweets count!  (t&c’s apply)

Click here for Facebook Business page... Like It... Share it...Win the Necklace (draw)

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And after all the rain in the past 72 hours we hear great news that there is one or two little heatwaves on the way before we bid the summer farewell. So don’t pack away the summer clothes just yet – enjoy every last sunny moment.

Martina & all the team

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Top Stories to hit the News Stands October 2013

halloween happy pumpkinWell now my little pixie pumpkins, can you believe it ’tis the eve of Halloween and not a banshee nor a ghost washed in the house. And with just under 55 days to Christmas it is of little of no surprise to see all the TV and Radio Santa adverts dusted off, polished up and on the air again. Yes indeed, from this week onwards the ‘Xmas’ ads will be shoved in your faces at every turn, no escaping  it. Although it’s not all doom and gloom, it’s a great time for retailers to pick up a few bob. However, it also gives the already extremely rich & thick celebrity an excuse to pump up their over inflated obscene bank accounts, as we see endless autobiographies, CD’s, albums, films, books, perfumes hit our shops and screens,  not that we begrudge them.  This blogger simply asks, that in view of the dire political and economic state of this Land of Ire and rage – instead of contributing to the coffers of the already hideously rich, you might consider purchasing from lesser known outlets, artistes, craft makers, and shops.

two penguinsThe Christmas message for the citizens of ireland this year is to Shop Local, help generate much needed jobs, in light of the recent brutal budget we truly need to address our ever increasing ‘poor’ population.  With that,  lets take a look at some of the stories that hit the news stands this month. Well there was the Budget we didn’t ask for, a referendum we couldn’t afford and a government who could care less, why? Because they wouldn’t know the meaning of the word Austerity, even if they were smacked in the back of the head by a penguin on ice. That’s exactly what the budget feels like for 90% of Irish citizens whose lives now lay face down in the chilling ice. The other 10% which includes bankers, accountants, politicians and civil servants are evidently living in the lap of luxury – they didn’t feel a thing?  What else, well Love Hate returned with a vengeance, The Beckhams moved house again, oh and…..

BRUNKERED – BELWILDERED AND BEWITCHED BY EDELE LYNCH

edele lynchIn fairness TV3’s Celebrity Apprentice was TV gold,  the B*Witched star beat Amanda Brunker in a closely contested finale of the TV3 series, with Caroline Downey (MCD) awarding Lynch the title after her team’s renovation challenge in a Down Syndrome Ireland Latch On educational centre, using items sourced from donedeal.ie   Lynch raised €45,000 for her charity, the Laura Lynn House, over the course of the six week competition. It will support two families’ respite care for an entire year. “It’s great to hand that money over and actually see what it will go to and how it can help a family in such a huge way like that, especially with the state of the country at the moment,” Lynch said. She was toasted at the official wrap party in Dublin’s 37 Dawson Street which saw Caroline Downey and her advisors, John McGuire and Liz ODonnell, as well as several of the contestants turn out to congratulate her. Asked if she would participate in another reality competition, Lynch admitted she would love to be on ‘Strictly Come Dancing’.

amanda brunkerNevertheless there is no doubt about it that it was a very close race, Brunker who actually won the most tasks across the series, raised over 25K for her own charity St Michaels House. Amanda was the hook of this show, she was absolutely hilarious and gave us some great entertainment.  If you missed the series –  it’s well worth a catch-up via the TV3 player.

caroline downey and contests

ORCHID JEWEL – MIA FARROW

Photo by Jeanloup SieffDimensions du scan 1165x1170150pp MIA AND FRANK

Mia Farrow (born Maria de Lourdes Villiers Farrow; February 9, 1945) is an American actress, humanitarian, and former fashion model. Farrow first gained wide acclaim for her role as Allison MacKenzie in the television soap opera Peyton Place and gained further recognition for her subsequent short-lived marriage to Frank Sinatra. An early film role, as Rosemary in Roman Polanski‘s Rosemary’s Baby(1968), saw her nominated for a BAFTA and a Golden Globe for Best Actress.

She went on to appear in films such as John and Mary (1969), Follow Me! (1972), The Great Gatsby(1974) and Death on the Nile (1978).  

MIA FARROW 2012

Farrow dated actor-director Woody Allen from 1980 to 1992 and appeared in twelve of his thirteen films over that period, most notably Zelig (1983), Broadway Danny Rose (1984),The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), Radio Days (1987), Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989), Alice (1990) and Husbands and Wives (1992). Her more recent film roles include Widows’ Peak (1994), The Omen (2006), Be Kind Rewind(2008), Dark Horse (2011) and Luc Besson‘s Arthur series (2006–2010).

SO WHO’S THE DAD Eh? Answers on a postcard.

ronan farrow and frank gifMeanwhile quite a startling revelation in the Mia Farrow story cropped up a few hours ago in Slate.com Mia Farrow disclosed in a recent interview with Vanity Fair that she doesn’t know for sure whether the father of her 25-year-old son Ronan, shortly headed to MSNBC, is Woody Allen or Frank Sinatra. Ronan, to his credit, had a sense of humor about the ensuing media kerfuffle.

ronan farrow and woody gif

Ronan Farrow a former Obama administration foreign policy adviser has been confirmed as the host of his own weekday program on MSNBC today – and called the recent headlines about his paternity ‘an annoyance’

MIA FARROW UNICEF1

Farrow has appeared in more than 50 films and won numerous awards, including a Golden Globe award, received seven additional Golden Globe nominations, three BAFTA nominations and a best actress award at the San Sebastian International Film Festival.[1]Farrow is also known for her extensive humanitarian work as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador. She is involved in humanitarian activities in DarfurChad, and the Central African Republic. In 2008, Time magazine named her one of the most influential people in the world. For more on this inspirational woman see here

BOYZONE 20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TOUR BZ20 – HITS THE FRONT PAGES

boyzone STEPHENIt’s difficult to believe that four years ago this month (10th October) we lost the wonderfully adorable Stephen Gately.  And even harder to believe that Boyzone debuted on the Late Late show with that famous crazy dancing 20 years ago. Rumour has it that Stephen Gately’s estate has refused permission to use his image and voice in the BZ20 tour. Indeed, preparations for their 18-date arena tour have been overshadowed by a very public Twitter spat between Stephen Gately’s brother, Anthony, and widower, Andrew Cowles, with either side accusing the other of blocking permission to use Stephen’s images and voice in the show. When stories broke alleging that Cowles was the one who refused permission for the late Stephen’s inclusion in the celebrations, he took to Twitter to deny the claims and point the finger of responsibility at Stephen’s family.

Boyzone late late “There’s ABSOLUTELY NO TRUTH in that story! I’m happy for BZ to use Steo in the show. The estate is waiting for his family to agree terms. x,” wrote Cowles, later adding that he was keen to see Gately included in the tour. However, Stephen’s brother Anthony reacted angrily to Cowles’ assertions, tweeting, “Stephen would cut you off before his family he told us that, remember you only knew him 6 yrs #bloodthicker”. The argumentative tone continued on between the pair, shedding some light on their evidently strained relations, with Cowles warning Gately to “be very careful what dirty laundry you air in public. Your family has PLENTY of its own. I don’t talk about that publicly.”

Boyzone 4 pieceBoyzone member Shane Lynch was solemn as he admitted that, despite how much he and his band mates want Stephen to feature in the celebrations, it is looking less likely than ever. “Even though he was part of Boyzone, I don’t know to what extent we can involve him in the show,” Shane told The Sun newspaper.

CORRIE SPOILER –  WE THINK TRACY DOES IT!

Michelle-keegan- tina in corrieStunning actress Michelle Keegan won’t be returning to Coronation Street, as the soaps producers have decided to kill off her character Tina, in a bid to get maximum ratings. The soap babe decided to leave Corrie last April and her final scenes will be aired in May. Most soap actors hope the door will be left open so they can return but it is believed producers spent weeks deliberating over her exit. According to The Sun ‘They’ve (show bosses) been weighing up whether to kill Tina off and now believe it’s the way to get maximum ratings,’ a source told The Sun. It will set up a cliff-hanger leaving viewers guessing who killed her. But Michelle’s fans will be devastated as it means Tina will never be able to return.’ The talented actress is looking forward to trying new roles. ‘I have had the most amazing six years at Coronation Street and it was such a difficult decision to leave,’ Keegan said in a statement at the time. ‘But I felt it was the right time for me to make the next step in my career. ‘I will miss Tina and will always be grateful to ITV and Coronation Street for giving me such an amazing role to play for my first ever acting job,’ she added. ‘I am very excited about what the coming months hold for Tina and what the future has in store for me.

TOP DEGENERERISMS SO FAR THIS YEAR 

EARTH SHATTERING CAR BOOT SALE AT BECKS COUNTRY PILE?

BECKS country pile

Choosing to ‘downscale’ to a four-storey London townhouse worth £45m they clearly need to make some room and pack off and away some of their unwanted treasures! The retired international sports star and his pop star come fashion designer wife now plan to sell many of their current possessions by means of a charity auction held at their famously dubbed 12-acre estate‘Beckingham Palace’  in Hertfordshire before they move.  According to a source for the Daily Mirror Newspaper; “After deciding to sell Beckingham Palace, David and Victoria realised there was no way they could fit all their belongings into one, smaller pad.  A 20 Million South London mews?

POSH MEWS – NICE REAR

beckham new london home rear“They have shipped a few treasured items to California and given some things to their families but there is still loads left. Victoria had the brilliant idea to sell it off for charity and now wants to host a massive auction at ‘Beckingham Palace’. “The house has been the scene of many fund-raising dos – the World Cup party, her ‘full length & fabulous’ ball, children’s tea parties and so forth – so why not host a farewell auction there too? There will be some amazing stuff for sale so she hopes to raise thousands.” Some of the household treats the a-list soccer star and spice girl are selling off are to include kitchen items, household appliances, designer clothing as well as their famous gold wedding thrones, which famously featured at their 1999 wedding ceremony in Ireland.

WHAT LIES BENEATH? –  POSH FRONT DOOR OF NEW HOUSE

becks new london home interiorApparently “Victoria loves the location of the new home, particularly as it’s close to her work studio, and for its close proximity to some of London’s best shops,” a source told the Sunday Mirror. “But the last thing they expected was to be experiencing shakes from Tube trains going underneath the home. It seems the very busy Circle Line runs directly under some of the property and in particular under the kitchen.” If things get too wobbly though, they can always retreat to their £18 million country pad, Beckingham Palace. Or their Chateau in the south of France. Or one of their homes in Beverly Hills. Or their property in Dubai.  Check out all the latest News, Sport & Celeb gossip at Mirror.co.uk http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/picture-of-david-and-victoria-beckham-new-1535082#ixzz2j7eEDTI2

COMPETITION TIME

blog compo october giveawayIt could not be easier… celebrating our brand new Orchid Jewels website all you have to do is to go to our Facebook page .. click like… share it and be in with a chance to win this stunning piece from our latest collection. Don’t forget to follow us on twitter too… retweets count!

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BONO IMPERSONATES CLINTON

The U2 front man was on stage with a number of delegates at the Clinton Global Initiative in New York waiting for the former US president to arrive.  Sensing that Mr. Clinton was slightly delayed, Bono quickly jumped into his seat and began to show off his American drawl. Pretending to be the former president, Bono described how he “thought (Bono) was one his roadies” when they had first met in the White House and commented how he “felt like the rock star on that occasion.” The delighted audience watched as the singer then began to list their humanitarian achievements, including work with the Drop the Debt initiative and the Aids Foundation. Eventually Mr. Clinton arrived on stage, prompting Bono to leap back to his own seat after handing him the microphone. An amused Clinton commented: “I must be really easy to make fun of.”

SPEAKING OF IRISH POLITICS HERE’S A RATHER NOVEL LESSON IN ECONOMICS 

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them is a horse

FINALLY A MUST WATCH FROM THE HOTTEST VIDEO ON YOUTUBE  –  8 MILLION VIEWS!

And on that ‘pound’ note my dear friends, we’ll leave you and love until next month,  if you are struggling with the dreaded Christmas present list, why not check out our fantastic bargains in our online Jewellery shop or you can go to our client list to see where our Jewellery is stocked nationwide. You can always contact me directly via private message on Facebook or indeed here on the website, I’d be delighted to hear from you.

Regards

Martina & All the Team.

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